My Journey of Self-Love – Part 2
We were home for exactly five days….and everyone I apologize ahead of time..this is where it gets hard. Friday I was headed to work and Em still wasn’t up to par, so I was taking her to my moms…she said she needed to throw up and to this day she is so proud…she threw up in the pizza hut parking lot….felt better after. That night she crawled in bed with me….told me my digital clock was too bright it hurt her head (now I know that was a red flag) I was exhausted and told her to roll over. Fitful night of sleep and Saturday morning I was to have a sitter come stay with Em so I could go watch football….but again she threw up. I called Children’s and they said to bring her back. I grabbed a few things, called a friend to take Nick to football and tried to get out the door….our black Lab, Abby was barking at me with her fur on end….like she has never barked before….I didn’t get it…I told her it was ok…Em would be ok, I’d be home later. I reclined the seat in the van, buckled Em in and no sooner that I turned out of our drive way…Em seized on me…
I kept going….and dialing……my husband first….he was working in Carollton no answer…so I told myself I could get to the ER at the Wellness Center a few miles away and also called 911….the poor 911 operator begging me to stop and wait for an ambulance. No way…I was on Medina Line Rd….in the middle of no where…she finally talked me into stopping at a gas station right next to a fire department and they took Em the rest of the way.
Nothing can prepare you for what you walk into….nothing….ten people working to save your daughters life. You are trying to listen and answer their questions and what you just really want to do is hold her.
After things were under control enough to move her upstairs into the PICU….I knew we were dealing with something much larger than ourselves.
Tom was there and was getting all the medical stuff, I was hanging on by a thread knowing she was where she needed to be….THEY would get her better…THEY were going to fix this…..
Her brain was seizing like crazy and they had to stop it. It was firing and they had her on unimaginable dosages of pentibarb to get them to stop…..into her medically induced coma she went.
At one point that evening they needed to put in her central line….sterile procedure and sent me to the waiting room. Dr. Forbes joined me…I thought how nice…..until he began to talk….now, I think this is where you all…in this room can decide what kind of physician you want to be…what would you do? He sat down next to me and took my hand and said….”I’m worried”
I crumbled inside and out…..the doctor in charge of saving my daughter’s life is WORRIED…he continued to talk….he told me he wanted to be completely honest with me(I wanted him to lie)….he told the dosage they had Em was above the recommended dosage and now, it was up to Em. He also told me that if she woke..not when…but if…she would most likely wake up as a two year old & we would be starting many things over. Patting my hand…”I just wanted to be honest” and back to Em’s room he went.
Holy crap…..that night….seemed to go on forever….her fever was ridiculous and I was beyond terrified. I don’t have enough time to tell you the intro of my favorite night nurse Dannille, but she was sent to us for sure. I didn’t sleep at all that first night and welcomed Tom back….he started this rule…you see this chair was never to be empty….someone was always in it and always rubbing her legs…even my dear friend, Andrea brought her oils and rubbed her down with lavender and frankincense.
